The Matriarch of Mercy: The Story of Hilda Joanne Adefarasin

A Caribbean Soul on African Soil

My mother, a woman who crossed oceans to build a home and ended up building a better society for millions of Nigerian women.

A Caribbean Soul on African Soil

My mother was born in 1925 in Lagos, but her roots were in the lush soil of Jamaica. Her father, the great Caribbean patriot Petgrave, brought a sense of global dignity to her upbringing. She was a woman of two worlds—carrying the sophisticated poise of her West Indian heritage and the deep, unyielding resilience of the Nigerian spirit.

She trained as a nurse, a profession that wasn’t just a job for her; it was her calling. It was through her nursing that she learned the art of “watching”—watching over the sick, watching over her family, and eventually, watching over the conscience of a nation.

The Great Activist: Leading the NCWS

While she was a devoted wife to a Chief Judge, my mother was never content to live in the shadow of my father’s robes. She was a powerhouse in her own right. Most people remember her as the President of the National Council of Women’s Societies (NCWS) from 1984 to 1988.

I remember those years vividly. She didn’t just sit in boardrooms; she went into the trenches. She fought for:

  • Women’s Suffrage and Education: She believed that to educate a woman was to educate a nation.
  • Health and Hygiene: She used her medical background to advocate for better maternal health care across Nigeria.
  • Legal Rights: Alongside my father’s legal mind, she pushed for laws that protected widows and children.

She had this incredible ability to be both a “Lady” and a “Warrior.” She could host a diplomatic dinner with flawless etiquette in the evening and be on the front lines of a protest for women’s rights the next morning.

The Mother of the House

At home, she was our “Anchor.” With five children—Wale, Yemi, Adebola, Hiro, and myself—her task was not small. She was the one who ensured that despite our father’s high-profile career, we remained grounded.

She was the one who nurtured my spiritual sensitivity. My mother had a way of praying that made you feel like heaven was in the room next door. When I went through my own seasons of wandering and struggle as a young man, it was her “unfailing love” and her “unceasing prayers” that pulled me back. She never gave up on the “gold” she saw inside me, even when it was covered in dust.

The Visionary and the Elder

Even in her later years, after my father passed in 1989, she became the “Queen Mother” of our family and our ministry. She was a founding member of House on the Rock, and her presence in the front row of the Cathedral was a source of immense strength for me.

She saw the transition of Nigeria through colonial rule, independence, civil war, and democracy. Through it all, her message remained the same: Service. She lived to be 98 years old, passing away peacefully in 2023. She didn’t just live long; she lived deep.

Her Legacy: The Fragrance of Grace

If my father taught me Justice, my mother taught me Compassion.

  • Justice tells you what is right.
  • Compassion tells you how to help those who have gone wrong.

She was the “Mother of the Nation,” a pioneer of the Nigerian women’s movement, and the woman who taught me that the greatest power on earth is a life surrendered to the service of others. I am the man I am because Hilda Adefarasin loved me, prayed for me, and showed me the face of God’s grace.